Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone
“He’ll never walk away, He’ll never break her heart… Piece by piece, he restored my faith, that a man can be kind and the father should be great.” — Piece by Piece, Kelly Clarkson.
This almost didn’t happen.
I know that sounds strange. You’re probably wondering what I mean. But as hard as it is to admit, I nearly let my past destroy the very best thing that ever happened to my daughter and me.
Facebook. That’s how everyone always asks if we met—and yes, it was Facebook. He sent me a friend request, and I ignored it for days. His profile picture was far away, we only shared maybe six mutual friends, and I assumed he was just another guy adding every blonde from his “people you may know” list. One day at work, a coworker asked how long it had been since I’d gone on a date. I told her it had been a very long time. She laughed and said, “If you go on a date within the next week, I’ll buy you lunch.” For some reason, that mystery friend request popped into my head. I pulled up his profile, scrolled through his photos, realized he actually seemed pretty cool, and finally hit “add.”
I waited at least three days. No message. Nothing. I went right back to assuming I was just another random add. Eventually, I decided to make the first move myself (yes, screenshot included). I was right—I’d simply shown up on his “people you may know.” Still, we started talking, exchanged numbers, and that weekend we planned to meet for dinner in Hawkinsville.
I didn’t tell anyone I was going on a date. When you’re a single mom, people ask too many questions—sorry, Mom and Dad. I was unbelievably nervous. To this day, I can tell you exactly what we were wearing, where we parked, and which booth we sat in.
The date itself was pretty typical—at least on his end. I talked, and he mostly listened, because if you know me, you know I can talk your head off. Somewhere during dinner, I surprised even myself by saying, “I’m not looking for a dad for my daughter. I’m doing just fine on my own. But if this turns into something good, you will be someone she looks up to as a role model, so please be sure you’re ready for that.” Inside, I was convinced there was no way this handsome, successful, unattached man would ever want something serious with a girl who already had a child. When the night ended, we said goodbye, and I truly believed I’d never see him again.
Y’all… I found out later that he told his parents about me the night of our first date. Meanwhile, I didn’t tell my parents—or anyone—about him for almost three weeks. I was terrified he’d change his mind.
Letting My Guard Down for Love
I had experienced enough people changing their minds to build walls I didn’t even realize were that strong. I wasn’t just protecting my heart—I was protecting my daughter’s. I could survive heartbreak, but I didn’t want her to ever feel it again.
After a few dates, he asked if he could meet her. I froze. Was this really happening? I let her choose where we went to dinner. She picked Waffle House, but since Cochran only has a Huddle House, we compromised and convinced her it was just as good (it’s not—Waffle House wins by far). I let her wear her “Wild Child” shirt so he’d be fully warned. They talked about princesses, hunting, and sports, played peek-a-boo under the table, and before the night ended, he asked if she wanted to go see Christmas lights a few nights later. Of course, she said yes. That night was pure magic.
An Unbreakable Bond
Over the years, I’ve watched their relationship grow into something beautiful. He is her favorite person. She wants to do everything he does. He has stepped up in more ways than I ever imagined—cleaning up puke in the middle of the night, pulling loose teeth, kissing boo-boos, holding her through hospital stays, cheering the loudest at field day, taking her to school, trick-or-treating with her. Most importantly, he stayed.
She still checks his dresser drawers sometimes to make sure his clothes are there. If she wakes up and he isn’t home, her first question is whether he’s coming back. I hate that someone once walked away from her and left her with those fears. A seven-year-old shouldn’t worry about whether her daddy is leaving. Jacob always reassures her, telling her he’s not going anywhere—that he is her daddy for as long as God gives him.
Marriage and Adoption
We got married in September 2017, and in March 2018, he officially adopted her. He chose her. The joy on her face that day was unforgettable—pure happiness, pure love.
I am endlessly thankful that God heard my prayers after so many years. I’m thankful He brought Jacob into our lives. I didn’t let my past win. For the first time in a long time, I lived in the moment and trusted God to lead every step.
Jacob—you are exactly what we prayed for. You are the light at the end of our dark tunnel. You were meant to be her daddy. I will always be grateful that you took a chance on two girls from an hour away. Happy Father’s Day, babe. We love you so much. You were made to be a girl dad.
And to all the single mamas still waiting: please be patient. There is someone out there. Every struggle you’ve faced will be worth it. Your light is coming—keep pushing, keep praying, keep believing. Your time will come when you least expect it. I know the hurt. I know the struggle. But I promise—it does get better. Until then, raise your babies, cherish the extra snuggles, and soak in every moment. I’m praying for you.
