This morning, our daughter had a school event that both her daddy and I promised we would be at, and she was absolutely buzzing with excitement.
Why?
Because Daddy was coming.
You see, Daddy has missed a lot lately.
He moved down here a full month before we did, which meant missing school awards day and field day back home in South Carolina. And now that we’re fully settled into life here, he’s missed Open House, Meet the Teacher, and more after-school activities than I can count—moments she was so proud to be part of.
His new job comes with unpredictable hours and late-night texts asking him to please come in, even on his days off.
So Daddy misses out.
And it’s hard on her, because she’s a Daddy’s girl through and through.
And it’s hard on Daddy too.
That’s why last night, around 10:30, he came to me holding his phone, worry written all over his face, asking what he should do.
“They want to know if I’ll come in tomorrow. I don’t know what to say. Tell me what you think I should do.”
I looked at him and said, “Honey, I can’t make that decision for you. You have to do what you think is right in this situation.”
And he wrestled with it—back and forth, again and again—begging me to just tell him what to do. But I didn’t. I couldn’t.
In the end, he chose to go to work. In his line of work, every single day is an opportunity—new bonus levels, extra income, a chance to build a comfortable life for our family. A life that allows us to relax and travel together in the off-season, something we truly love and value.
That decision didn’t come without pain.
His heart hurt deeply when he had to tell her the news this morning. He woke her up extra early and brought her downstairs to cuddle on the couch and watch funny YouTube videos—his quiet way of saying, I love you, and I’m so sorry I’m missing another thing.
When he left for work, he repeated how sad he was to miss her event. I could see the guilt sitting heavy on his heart.
But he made the best decision he could in that moment. And he knew I’d be there—cheering her on, snapping a million pictures, and keeping him updated every step of the way. And that’s exactly what I did.
So no, Daddy couldn’t be there today. And there’s a very real chance he won’t be able to be there next time either.
But those are the sacrifices Daddy makes so that she and her brother can have more than we ever did. So they can grow up in a nice home. So they can have the kind of childhood we only ever dreamed of when we were kids.
And it’s my job to help her understand that we’re lucky Daddy has a job to go to. That we’re fortunate he works so hard to give us so much. And that hard work often comes with sacrifice.
Today, Daddy made a tough decision.
Today, he did what so many parents around the world are forced to do every single day.
As much as they hate it. As much as it hurts. As overwhelming as the guilt can be.
Sometimes, as parents, we’re forced to choose the hard thing.
That doesn’t make us bad parents.
It doesn’t mean our kids aren’t our whole world.
And it doesn’t mean we should carry the weight of guilt for missing yet another moment.
Because what matters most is that Daddy is always there for her—even when he physically can’t be.
And like so many parents who miss the little things, Daddy loves her with every fiber of his being.
We’re all just doing the best we can.
And that… is more than enough.
