I left my husband for a year after being together for eight years—and, in the end, it made our marriage stronger than I ever could have imagined.
Last year, my mental health hit rock bottom. I had forgotten how to be a wife—or at least, how to be a good one. My temper flared at the smallest things, and I found myself blaming him for the storm raging inside my mind.
When you get married, you hear the usual vows: “in sickness and in health.” But sometimes, the sickness is so consuming that it spills over, and your partner bears the weight of it. That isn’t fair to them—or to you.
Back then, my husband didn’t know how to handle my anxiety and depression. Today, he does—but it took him time, patience, and love to learn. And it took me a long time to learn, too: that it’s okay to ask for help, to let people in, to admit that you’re struggling. What’s not okay is blaming the person who is trying to understand your mind when they aren’t living inside it.
So, I left. I took our two children and moved in with my parents, hoping the distance would give me space to breathe, to think, to heal.
And that’s when the saying “what’s meant to be will always find a way” truly came to life.
Over the next year, I battled dependency on alcohol, suicidal thoughts, unhealthy relationships, and multiple hospital stays. And through all of it, someone never stopped showing up.
He was there to hold my hand during psychological evaluations.
He was there to answer my therapist’s questions about my mood that week.
He was there to take care of the kids, even on days that weren’t his.
The man I had left.
Through countless therapy sessions and medication adjustments, I slowly began to realize that blaming others for my struggles wasn’t helping me heal. I had to face myself in the mirror—and learn to take responsibility for my own mental health.
And when I reached that point, he was still there.
Mental health struggles can be brutal on a marriage. Sometimes, stepping back and focusing on yourself is not just okay—it’s necessary.
That year apart was the hardest of my life. But it taught him more about my mind, made him more patient, helped him learn how to cope with my anxiety attacks and depressive episodes. It taught me to be more thoughtful, to recognize how much my pain had been hurting him.
I won’t pretend that mental health issues don’t strain a marriage—they do, and they can even break it temporarily. But they can also be repaired, strengthened, and transformed into a deeper understanding of one another. There’s no straight road, no easy answers. It’s messy, painful, and complicated—but it can be worth it.
Yes, I left my husband for a year—and it made us stronger. It forced us both to see what we had been blind to. It made us appreciate each other more. It reminded me who truly has my back. It showed me that taking time to heal on my own was necessary—and okay.
Most importantly, it made me realize just how much we love each other. And, at the end of the day, isn’t that what marriage is really about?
I left the love of my life, found my way back to him, and together, we became stronger, better people.
