“Listen up.
I am a wife and a proud, devoted mother to an energetic 3-year-old boy. I’m also expecting a sweet little girl, who will join our family this February. Motherhood is my joy, my daily adventure, and my greatest teacher. Being part of this community of parents, I love sharing my experiences—because we are all learning, growing, and navigating this parenting journey together.
But here’s the truth: parenting comes with a lot of unsolicited advice. And lately, I’ve had enough of one particular type. I am so tired of being told that I am ‘spoiling’ or ‘babying’ my child.
It gets under my skin when people see me hug CJ and immediately say, ‘You’re spoiling him. He needs to toughen up and be a man.’
BREAKING NEWS:
I AM A WOMAN. I AM HIS MOTHER.
No matter what I do, I could never raise him to be a ‘man’—because I am not a man. That’s why he has a father, grandfathers, uncles, male cousins, and mentors to guide him in ways I cannot.
Let me be clear:
- He is a 3-year-old boy, not a man. Read that again.
- Every chance I get, I will hug him, feed him, and shower him with words of love and affirmation so he always knows he is cherished.
- I am not raising my child on the same trauma you endured, just to claim it ‘made you stronger.’ I’ve watched how unforgiving, harsh, and emotionally distant some of you became. You needed love, safety, and nurturing—and maybe therapy.
- Clearly, some of you didn’t get a hug when you needed one—and it shows.
I will continue to ‘spoil’ or ‘baby’ my child if it means he knows, without a doubt, that he is loved. Because in the end, love is never too much.”
