Do you know someone who just had a baby?
Are you the spouse of someone who carried a life for nine months, endured the immense physical and emotional toll of labor, and brought that life into the world?
Or are you a friend, sibling, coworker, or parent of a woman who is juggling an almost impossible list of roles:
- Human milk machine
- Surviving on unbelievably low amounts of sleep
- At home all day caring for multiple children
- Constantly putting herself last
- 24/7 housekeeper, teacher, conflict resolver, and nurse
If so… please, be kind.
Instead of asking only about the baby, sometimes check in on her. Ask, “How are you doing?” instead of “How’s the baby?”
Spouses, ask how she’s feeling. Do you truly understand how wild a woman’s hormones are during pregnancy and postpartum? If not, take a moment to learn. She is not the same person she was before. And in truth, she may never be exactly the same. Motherhood—whether it’s the first, second, or fifth time—changes a woman in ways that last a lifetime.
I’ve spoken to women whose family, friends, or even husbands have said things like, “It’s been two weeks. When will your belly go down?” or “When will you stop being so moody?”
Here’s the truth: it can take one to two years postpartum for a woman’s hormones to stabilize. And during pregnancy, she’s already endured so much: morning sickness, carpal tunnel, sleepless nights, nausea, heartburn, swelling, constipation, fatigue, cramps, headaches, and a constant state of discomfort as her body grows and changes to house another human being. And now, only a few weeks or months postpartum, some people expect her body—and her mind—to instantly “bounce back”? That’s unfair and unrealistic.
It’s time to change the narrative.
Check in with her. Offer real, meaningful support:
- “Hey, babe, are you drinking enough water?”
- “Want me to take over so you can enjoy a long shower?”
- “Can I bring dinner tonight?”
- “Want to call later so you can talk to someone over the age of four?”
- “Can I pray for you?”
Celebrate her wins, no matter how small:
- “Way to go, momma, for getting in a walk or a workout today!”
- “Look at you leaving the house with two little ones. Superwoman!”
- “You took a nap? AMAZING! So proud you’re taking care of yourself.”
- “Omg, you made dinner? Rock star! I know that’s no small feat.”
Support. Rally behind her. Cheer her on. Clap for new moms. Your words matter. They lift spirits. They encourage. They remind new mothers that they are seen, valued, and appreciated.
Let’s make positivity the standard. Let’s show up. Let’s honor the incredible journey of motherhood every single day.
